111 Best Men in Black Quotes That Will Make You Smile - Verses | Quotes (2024)

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Why do rats desert the ship? ―Kay

Yeah. You got a hell of an infestation. ―Orkin Man

I was fishing in Cuernavaca. ―Driver

A person is smart. People are dumb. ―Kay

Who the hell are you? ―Agent Janus

We are the Men in Black. ―Zed

With a bug in town? Watch the morgues. ―Kay

God, we’re a gullible breed. ―Kay

The hell happened? ―Zed

This guy had a serious crush on his cat. ―Jay

Human, I know. Oops. Got some entrails on you. ―Kay

You don’t get it, hoss. This guy is different. Worse than anyone. He tried to blow up the Earth but I stopped him. ―Kay

See what I mean about tequila? You’re a bright young man, James. Just lay off the sauce. I’ll see you tomorrow, nine a.m. sharp. ―Kay

You don’t like it, you can kiss my furry little butt. ―Frank the Pug

Dammit, man, you’re making me sweat up my gear! ―Edwards

There’s been a great injustice in the Universe. I must make it right. ―Yaz

Fine, but it’s the last one you’ll ever hear. ―Obadiah

Wow, I didn’t think there was anything uglier than a catfish. ―Jay

I think you jumped off the bus in the wrong part of town, amigo. In fact, I’ll bet dollars to pesos that you’re not from anywhere near here. ―Kay

Okay, that’s enough. Hand me your head and put up your arms. ―Kay

!Oye! Que pasa, coma estas? Hey! No se preocupe, abuela. Bienvenida a los Estados Unidos. ―Kay

He mourns the past because he can not see the dead are still as alive as they ever were. Just not now. ―Lama

We just don’t like the neighborhood anymore. Some of the — new arrivals. ―Redgick

I mean it, fellas, you are lucky to be alive after a blast like that. ―Kay

We’re not supposed to have it. I’ll tell you why. Human thought is so primitive it’s considered an infectious disease. Makes you proud, doesn’t it? ―Kay

Florida? I hate Florida. I hate everything South of Virginia. If that’s what you came to tell me, you’re wasting your time. ―Kay

Do you know what alien life form leaves a green spectral trail? ―Kay

You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers! ―Edgar

You know how many treaty articles you’vejust violated? ―Dee

Congratulations, you’re everything we’ve come to expect from years of government training. Now, if you’ll just follow me, we have one more test to administer, an eye exam. ―Zed

Maybe you want to think twice next time you ditch me. ―Jay

You are no longer part of “the system.” We’re above the system. Over it. Beyond it. ―Zed

You know what an MiB agent calls it when he faces death? Besides I got you to watch my back, right? ―Kay

Right, well, the cat is, uh — the cat’s a witness in a murder case and I’m going to need to take it with me. ―Jay

This is all confiscated. All of it. I want you on the next transport off this rock. Or I’ll shoot you where it doesn’t grow back. ―Kay

One of the few I actually liked. Exiled High Prince. ―Kay

Well. Nick the Dick. What a surprise. Where you comin’ from? ―Agent Janus

I go out, I work my butt off to make a living, all I want is to come home to a nice clean house with a nice fat steak on the table, but instead I get this — this — I don’t even know what you call this! ―Edgar

Way I hear it, Jeebs, you into something a little hotter than some stolen Rolexes. ―Edwards

Any given time, around fifteen hundred landed aliens are on the planet, the majority right here in Manhattan. Most aliens are decent enough, just trying to make a living. ―Kay

The last suit you’ll ever wear. ―Zed

Get your big butt back in that house! ―Edgar

You know, ya’ll gotta learn how to talk to people. You could be a little kinder and gentler. ―Jay

Well, thanks for the very amusing morning, but I’m hopin’ you’ll show me where I came in? ‘Cause this is where I go out. ―Edwards

He’s coming! He’s coming because I failed, and now he’ll kill me too! ―Perp

I’m talking to you, Bug! You know how many of your kind I’ve swatted with a newspaper? ―Kay

I swear to God, I would not be surprised if it was, the way you skulk around here like a dog been hit too much — or ain’t been hit enough, I can’t make up my mind. ―Edgar

Back in the mid-fifties, the government started a little underfunded agency with the simple and laughable purpose of making contact with a race not of this planet. ―Kay

Well, well, well. Movin’ right in, are we? Think we own the place? ―Orkin Man

Your entire image is carefully crafted to leave no lasting memory whatsoever with anyone you encounter. ―Zed

Jeff, I am so not in the mood for you! Get back in the subway! Right now! ―Jay

You sold a carbonizer with implosion capacity to an unlicensed cephlapoid. ―Kay

You’re a rumor, recognizable only as deja vu and dismissed just as quickly. You don’t exist; you were never even born. ―Zed

Who’s she gonna tell, anyway? She only hangs out with dead people. ―Jay

Yeah, it’s harder and harder to smoke anywhere these days. Hell, I suppose I should quit. I’ve tried. Never took, though. I’m beginning to think I lack self-control. ―Kay

You are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. ―Edwards

You’re breakin’ my heart. Move six inches to your left and I’ll solve all your problems. ―Kay

I’m part of a secret organization that monitors and polices alien activity on earth. ―Kay

Anonymity is your name. Silence your native tongue. ―Zed

You did not see a room full of shiny weapons. You did not see four alien nightcrawlers. You will cherish and love each other for the rest of your lives. ―Kay

Everyone on these screens is an alien. In public — normal. In private — you’ll get the idea. ―Kay

It makes perfect sense. When I was a third grader in Philadelphia, they told me I was crazy ’cause I swore that our teacher was from, like, Venus or something. ―Edwards

You milk-suckers! You don’t matter! In a few seconds you won’t even be matter! ―Edgar

Stop wasting time. He’s not getting off the planet in a cab. ―Kay

This is called a “neuralyzer.” A gift from some friends from out of town. The red eye here isolates and measures the electronic impulses in your brain. More specifically, the ones for memory. ―Kay

Why do you lie to me? I hate it when you lie. ―Kay

Yeah, sure. He said the world was coming to an end. ―Edwards

You erase what’s in here, you erase the whole world. ―Jay

Officer Edwards. Oh, hey, geez, how’d these get here? I thought I turned ’em in to the proper authorities. ―Jeebs

We’re gonna have a little chat with our friend here. You boys can hit the road… and keep on protecting us from dangerous aliens. ―Kay

We need help. A professional. Someone with years of experience in intergalactic politics. ―Kay

Stop right there, or I’ll start wailing on your waxy, pointed ass! ―Jay

So do I. The guy ran down a cephlapoid, Zed. On foot. Tenacity. That I can use. ―Kay

All right. I’m in because there’s some next-level sh*t going on around here, and I’m with that. ―Edgar

Okay, Beatrice. There was no alien, and the flash of light you saw in the sky wasn’t a UFO. ―Kay

Silly little planet. I could rule the place with the right set of mammary glands. ―Serleena

The United States Postal Service hasn’t quite kept up with today’s youth, but I can offer you some Berlin airlift stamps. ―Kay

My problem is you being all up in my damn face all the time. ―Edwards

We’re not even history. ‘Cause history implies there’s someone around to remember it. ―Kay

What do you get, Nick? Hundred bucks a head? Two hundred? I hope you saved it all for your lawyer, pal, ’cause you’re gonna need. ―Agent Janus

We got the use of unlimited technology from the entire universe and we cruise around in this? ―Jay

Okay, okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you, man. You just signed your own death warrant. ―Obadiah

Sorry I’m late. The cab drivers on this planet are terrible. ―Rosenberg

You don’t understand. Your world is gonna end. ―Prep

Good. War means food for my family, all seventy-eight million of them. That’s a lot of mouths to feed, your highness. ―Edgar

Okay, everybody, situation’s under control, calm down. If you’ll just give me your attention for a moment I’ll tell you what happened. ―Kay

So basically you have a racial problem with all insect-based life forms? ―Jay

Where there is death, there will always be death. ―Jay

I’ve just been down the gullet of an interstellar co*ckroach. That’s one of a hundred memories I don’t want. ―Kay

Everyone thinks their computer problem is the world coming to an end. ―Trevor

What kind of emergency? What’s the rush to get off the planet all of a sudden? ―Kay

Cause some of the other officers are a little soggy in the midsection. And they couldn’t keep up, sir. ―Edwards

So I was thinking about making a chart for each time I save your ass. And when I do it ten times, you buy me lunch. ―Jay

And when he gets here, I’ll kick his ass too. ―Edwards

Hold up. You track me down, put me through those stupid-ass tests, now you’re trying to talk me out of it. I don’t get it. ―Edwards

What the hell happened to make you such a callous son of a bitch? ―Jay

There is the action and there is the intention. It is the intention we reward. ―Archanans

Don’t tell me we’ve only got that powdered sh*t for cream again? ―Kay

The galaxy is the best source for subatomic energy in the universe. If the bugs get their slimy claws on it, kiss the Arquillians goodbye. ―Frank the Pug

My name is Zed. You’re all here because you’re the best of the best. Marines, Navy SEALS, Army Rangers…NYPD. ―Zed

I can’t take it anymore. Talking to these nutjobs and all these goddamn hippies. God, I hate hippies. They’re just filthy, Kay. ―Warhol

You’re not even allowed a favorite shirt. There. That’s the speech I never heard. That’s the choice I never got. ―Kay